It has been a topsy-turvy year to date.

It began full of hopes and dreams of a long and fruitful continuing enjoyment of all the good things in life, far into the future.

We began with a sparkling early morning sail in January, together.

A happy-go-lucky me taken by The Mate … whilst cooking up bacon rolls.

It continued with intermittent days out in London to visit exhibitions, go to the theatre and enjoy our other joint pastime – walking.

Christobel studiously studying a picture at The Tate…

Out walking – looking towards Canewdon Hill and church…

Then, along came an invitation to attend our surgery for a health check – BUT they were only interested in any possible cardiac problems. I asked about having a PSA test for the level of protein specific antigen in the blood, which is ‘leached’ by the prostate gland – I was asked if I had a problem?

So, I was told NO, not entitled. We don’t go down this line. Do you have any symptoms?

No I didn’t…

Eventually, as I was about to bang the desk, the nurse went off to ask a doctor. Nurse was told to add to blood test list as was having one anyway…

It came back at 12.6…

We then went away on our 40th wedding anniversary jaunts to a ‘secret location’ first and then a few days later to Amsterdam for a few ‘puffs’ – well no actually, for the museums etc…

In my mind was a remark from ‘my’ doctor that the level was above normal, but there was nothing to worry about. Hmmmmm!

A present from my dear Christobel … xx

Flowers at our ‘secret’ hotel… And some books, Christobel’s gift was on her finger…

Soon after our return, I received an appointment letter to attend Southend Hospital … this was very quickly cancelled by the surgery (we believe) and I was sent for a further test. It came back at 13.6…

At this point I began to look into ‘The Prostate’ with some interest.

It was a steep and frightening learning curve. Worry levels rose, as did blood pressure.

I eventually saw a specialist during early June, by the 13th I’d had a MRI scan and by the following weekend went into hospital for a biopsy on the Saturday morning. I won’t go into details, other than to say a special needle is inserted through the ‘underneath’ soft tissue bit and nibbles of what is there are removed for testing.

Post Biopsy – on Father’s day…

Christobel did wonders to nurse me and keep me in a good frame of mind for I was just a little fragile and frightened, as she was herself.

Waiting for Skippy…

We had a walk around a section of the Chelmer & Blackwater Navigation – then changed for a jaunt into Maldon … after my soreness had dissipated. While I had a mosey through the yards and a look at the Blue Mermaid which I found was progressing nicely, Christobel found a convenient perch to read! The Blue Mermaid is the new sailing barge owned by the Sea-change Trust.

Things were moving fast…

I was soon back at the hospital to see a specialist … cancer was confirmed. Suspected T2/T3 – not good, but containable to point of eradication.

This felt like a very dark day and I will not beat about the bush, I broke down, utterly … a weekend away sailing soothed me, especially after a couple of pints in the Admiral’s Arm in Queenborough with crisps and pickled eggs. We obviously had proper food as well!

There followed a bone scan to check if any cells had floated free and found a new home… This came back as Clear! Phew!

We left the hospital with a list of appointments – specialist nurse, oncologist and surgeon ‘chats’ …

Last Friday I saw the nurse (with Christobel: this is something that affects both…) and she painted the picture in graphic and to the point terms. There would be problems and side affects.

My demeanour was dropping, it was becoming too much. It hurt. The way ahead was cloudy and becoming pointless…

On Saturday evening we had a family (3) BBQ with lots of jollity and bonhomie … cheering me up somewhat.

On Sunday I slipped away for a sail – The Mate rested: we’d helped out at our ‘village’ summer fayre for 8 hours on Saturday and it had taken its toll…

Whimbrel cracking along last Sunday…

I say ‘…last Sunday…’ in a way which makes it seem such a long time ago. In many respects it is for yesterday, Tuesday, we had over two hours with a nurse for pee flow test (good) spending most of the time with the Oncologist’s registrar, the surgeon and then to the oncologist.

I was at first numbed: the detail given was vast. Almost too much, but even I could see the main problem.

My cancer was given a T3a score with a Gleeson level of ‘8’. It has broken out from the prostate, but not yet gone far. It has grabbed one set of nerves (there are two bundles to control the manly function…).

The surgeon was blunt. One set would go. The other, well, something called ‘nerve saving’ prostate removal by robotic assistance at Broomfield Hospital, Chelmsford, would be done. A rapid check is made on removal in area of nerves for cancer tissues is made and if good, then other ones are kept…

If I travel the treatment route, the Oncologist would feed me hormone tablets for around six months, treat with Brachytherapy  – essentially a number of needles down which iridium would be injected into ‘bad’ areas. This would be followed by 6-8 weeks of radio therapy…

Both would do the job. Both have ramifications, but for quality of life, the treatment is, I feel, the likely course I take. This was intimated, as best, but not stated!

The main problem is that some of the cancer has been found to be vigorous and is probably unpredictable. My bone scan is clear.

The future … I’m trying to be upbeat. It is difficult. I know several people who have had treatment or removals.

I’ve received protestations about ‘the best way’ – useful for outcome and well being boost, but doesn’t help greatly for, as the surgeon and oncologist and indeed the specialist nurse have said, all cases are different and treatment options are tailored to the individual…

It has to be right for me, for Christobel, and for our lives…

All at Southend Hospital that I have had dealings with display the utmost care in the way they explain the problem and for the way they have ‘handled’ me. They have display the same attitude to Christobel too. It is quite touching…

I’ve told my story to the health practitioners at Southend Hospital and they are ‘gobsmacked’ by the attitude of surgeries that sit within their own fold, as it were…

So, any men out there who haven’t had a PSA test, bloody well pull you fingers out and get it done. Do not take ‘NO’ for an answer – it is your right. It’ll probably save your life. Wives, partners, tell them. Withhold ‘favours’ until they do so…

I’m not joking. It is serious. 

Remember, I had absolutely no symptoms. I only get up once in the night and often don’t need to. If you pee more than a few times, it is likely there is a problem, or enlargement, and it should be looked into… Enlargement is a natural aging phenomena. 

There is a wealth of places to go for information, but do look here: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/prostate-cancer/diagnosis/

I was advised to stay off ‘American’ sites. Use NHS and Macmillan Cancer. Macmillan are linked on the NHS site.

And, whatever, keep smiling…